Thursday, May 9, 2013

Quasi Single Mom

I would never call myself a single mom because I don't deserve that title. I am a full time married mom with a long distance relationship??? My gorgeous, amazing and very funny husband was chosen to be a part of some exclusive class in the bowels of  GA for the next 3 months. So here I am with the self proclaimed princess wondering what we are going to do for the next 87 days.... I will tell you that my full intention is to lose at least 20lbs and get my 34lb'er potty trained. Ummmmmm yeah.....I love food and my child loves pooping in her diapers. I am almost positive that I will win Powerball before either of those aforementioned feats are accomplished.

 We tried to explain to A that daddy was going to sleepover school. Time isn't something 2 year olds can grasp so I left out the 3 month part of the deal. She seemed to be doing ok with it until we went to school on Tues and the only woman that A loves more than anything in this world, Miss Janet, was out sick. Coupled with Daddy departing the day before her emotions took over. In the middle of the class with the other children watching A took a knee and put her hand over her eyes and proclaimed in a feeble little voice that she couldn't eat. Not even a sprinkled pop tart, the morning snack of the day, could get her back on her feet.    
So I did what any loving mother would do; I left. I  figured we weren't looking at a hunger strike on a Ghandi  level and her protest would probably only last another 30 seconds when the other children lost interest. I was   right. I wasn't even out the door of the school when the pop tart was devoured and the  beating of the xylophone (musical instrument of  choice this week) had begun.

Only 86 more days to go........




Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I gave birth to the perfect child on 7/13/10. I felt no labor pains. When it was time to push, I laughed twice and there she was.  She has the face of a Michelangelo angel, her eyes are the biggest and bluest eyes God has ever given out, her hair is like spun gold and skin like alabaster....
And then you piss her off by giving her a Tinker Bell snack instead of Sully from Monsters Inc and all hell breaks loose..... This is what I look forward to everyday. Not the fighting but listening to her reasoning. Jim Lehrer would not ask to come back to my kitchen after 4 minutes of debating chicken nuggets over "mermaid food" (salmon). Mermaid food because it's pink, wins every time   I love her more than life itself but this self proclaimed princess, whether it be laughter or tears, brings me to my knees everyday.